It is funny how no matter how much time goes by and no matter how long we stay out of contact I still can trust you with everything. Your one of 3 people that I can spill my heart out to you without hesitation, but part of that I think is because there was a point in time where my heart was yours… I don’t know what I’d be without you…….
(Source: shellybuttface)
Time to nerd out and kill some demons.
Buy Diablo 3 and shit on life.
Nobody seems to understand how much I hold back on, nobody understands what I’m capable of and how much of that is toned down. You don’t get bullied your childhood and treated like a piece shit by everyone for most of your life and all of a sudden come out fine and not mentally scarred at least a little bit. One of these days one of you is going to push me too far and see the anger, frustration, regret, sorrow, pity, etc. come out of me and be directed straight toward you. Im done lying to myself trying to find the good in people when I no longer sense good in myself? I’m done grinding my teeth, I’m done biting my tongue, and I’m done clenching my fists. No more holding back and if loose “friends” because of it then so fucking what because moving from florida to here and also making that college transition has showed me that people only care when it is convenient. Why should I strive to be the better man in a society of lairs fakes ?
Dear Dara Michelle Nathanson,
How about I start off by saying I honestly did not expect us to become friends let alone bestfriends or roomates for that matter. You saved me from the childish ways of the infamous “Group” you stopped me from hurting them on several occasions and whether you know…
Dear Tim,
I’m crying.
Haha I love you Marlee
So, before you I promised myself I was done chasing a broken heart, I convinced myself at our age it wasn’t worth the pain, I made the choice to stop looking because it will lead to nothing but more heart ache. Then you came along and fucked up my zen ( I’m not complaining just stating a fact ), I remeber when I first met you, you were watching scary movies with the group and I suck in the room and under the beds to scare people, it was a fun night but the start of an emotional rollercoaster. I remember thinking how pretty you were, and how adorable you acted. I had chilled my heart to a rock solid block of ice before I met you but ice has got to melt sometime right? I remeber frantically seeking information about you from people to see if I could get some vibe off you, people said you liked me but before I put myself out there after a 2 year break I HAD to be SURE. When one of our mutual friends told me that you liked me my heart skipped a beat every other beat. I was a wreck, both excited and terrified. We started hanging out more and texting each other, and I even finally conjured up the courage to hug you. life was good, I was happy that things were looking up. But then when I finally pulled up my sleves and mustered up the courage to have the “Talk” you sort of went off the radar. you stopped replying to my texts, you started always hanging out with other people. And I couldn’t even get a handshake out of you. I was Upset, I was Confused, and I was Angry, angry because why would someone tell you that the person you’re crushing so hard on actually likes you if it was a lie. all I felt was Anger and Confusion. I honestly don’t know what happend, I don’t know if I did something wrong, or if I didn’t do something and that was what was wrong. The thing is I never found out, its something no one talks about or acknowledges. And after the damage was done you stopped hanging out with them so much and stated hanging out with us everyday, so through the rest of the school year I never got that time to get over you. I was so looking foward to summer to get some space but even in summer I can’t get away, its been 4 days since school ended and I’ve already spent an entire day with you and in 2 days we will be spending another day together. I can’t get out, I can’t get over, and I still can’t get a damned hug. Today ended with a fist bump……..W…T….F. No matter what though I still think you’re imperfectly perfect. The right ammount of sassy, innocence, beauty, nerdy, and humor. Till this day you are the longest crush I have ever held feelings for.